confusion

hmmm jeta amar nityo diner shongi rather proti muhurter na solve korte parle matha gorom dnt knw hw to cool it achha bhalo lagata ki onnay? control kora uchit? why and how? can some one please guide me with a logic that i can relate to? i know i ask for a guidance always i am overtly dependent bt i wonder why is it so? feel dependent about that as well if someone would tell me why? ami ki halka? bt i am trying not to do that, bt yes, i am opening up bit by bit i have to stop it, D rightly said that dnt say much abt urself unless asked bt i cant help feeling happy and then blaming myself for that O God, help me, guide me, make me strong at least God dependent howata to bhul noy if this does'nt work out the whole process would start again i dont want that, when its always a risk why not start with the fIrst one, more so when you are okayish comfortable with this one, who knows these comfort levels can ever be reached again with any body else? can some one else make me feel so good about myself? can i emotionally depend on this 1?o God, till then should i hide myself or should i be myself? i know i cant be myself so soon unless its fixed, bt when its fixed, if at all, at the same time praying hope this one works out and everything falls into place, then how should i be to him and to others who inquire?